The Barter Project

How to Give Your Stuff Away Without Your Friends Thinking You’re Suidical

Today I got a voicemail that I never in my wildest dreams thought I would get because of this project. It went something like this (not exactly…names and specifics have been edited out):

Hey Eric, Just calling to check in with you.  A couple people are worried about you…you know…with selling all of your stuff and leaving for a while and all (I’ve been on a vacation to my hometown for about 3 weeks now, with no set return date because it’s absolutely beautiful here). Are you OK? We just want to make sure it wasn’t something we did. So I just wanted to make sure you’re doing ok, call me back!

I was a little weirded out.

I think it’s probably important to tell you that I’m approaching this with a bit of sarcasm, because without sounding like a crazy guru, it really does illustrate our attachment to the things we own; they’re seen as our well-being.

First, I was flattered over how much my friends care for me, and then I was frustrated with the school systems for making everyone do those “how to spot a suicidal person” worksheets in middle and high school. You might want to prepare the closest people around you if you ever try to make your life a bit more simple. They’re going to look at you pretty weird when you say “I just want to live a less cluttered life, do you want my extra stereo?”, and they might try to have you committed if you ever drop the “I’m moving into an RV next year to travel the country, because I kinda just feel like it” bomb on them. First and foremost, don’t get discouraged if people give you shit for any of it. They’ll realize soon enough that you’re here to stay, and that it’s actually much less stressful to live without all the crap piled around. Plus, once your post cards start filling up the walls of their cubicles, they’ll wish they followed step. 

Here are some (not so serious) precautions and things to do in order to give a lot of your stuff away without your friends thinking you’re suicidal:

1. Communicate. Tell your friends and family what you’re up to (don’t just leave for a month…that looks bad). They’ll still think you’re crazy, but this will at least allow you an “I told you so” after you’ve proven you’re really just trying to get rid of things you don’t use.

2. Don’t offer them anything for free. Tell them you’re selling some stuff and they can have first pick/charge them a 6 pack for most things you don’t need money for. The most popular indicator we’re taught to spot is giving away possessions, so this keeps them at ease and your beer fridge stocked. 

3. Copy your Facebook contacts into your address book before you delete it, so you don’t loose touch with close friends and “go missing”. You’re not actually trying to burn bridges…unless you are, in which case don’t keep their contact information. 

4. Smile, and act your normal cheery self, but don’t smile too much. You want to avoid the “I’m happy because this is almost all over” vibe. 

5. Brag about how much money you’ve made selling things, giving the impression that you’re still just as materialistic as ever. 

6. Invite others to share in your process. This will also provide a support group, and help for moving heavy things out.

7. Keep clean and groomed. Don’t cut out soap and haircuts because they’re something you can “do without”. You don’t want people to think you’re letting yourself go. 

8. Don’t use social time to stay in and clean. If you go out on the weekends, go out! Have a good time! This whole thing is meant to give you more of that. Use other times to do your simplifying, like when you’d usually be checking emails and social networking sites. 

If you have any more suggestions, I’d love to hear them. I wasn’t actually going to write about this, but in talking with a couple friends earlier I think it’s really an overlooked issue that can be solved very easily. Make sure you enjoy the process, and learn as much as you can from every little bit you do to make your life more enjoyable.